15.10.08

Ill Like Wild Bill



So I am super sensitive to the sun.
SPF 30 every day, minimum.
Recently I slipped and had a fabulous case of sun poisoning, complete with painful blisters from burns about my face, and afterward, scars.
The whole thing reminded me of Dorian Gray, though it was my real face and not a canvas, and it was my fucked up brain chemistry, not some "sin," that was represented by the disfigurement.
The scars are starting to fade, but it is going to take a while.
Til then, sorry if I missed your book party or dinner fundraiser or whatever. Getting there is not always practicable and I have been traveling way too much.
The cocktail of meds I ingest to get me through the hardest days would probably knock out a horse; consider how few people enjoy doing that every day.

Wearing sunscreen is fairly simple and apparently without ill side effects.
Taking atypical neuroleptics makes some people drool, others get acne, or diabetes from becoming obese.
Sometimes they just have a seizure and die. It is rare, but it happens.

But...
While I was covered in burn marks people had sympathy for me; I was the victim of the sun.
On a regular day, to a lot of people who unfortunately lack information, me and people like me are labeled as manipulative, violent, moody, unreliable (sometimes it seems completely arbitrary what the label is, as long as it is negative) and there's little compassion for a victim of faulty brain circuitry. Junkies get more love.

Will one of you well connected bipolar or schizophrenics go out there and bring some positive attention to this matter?

A guy I once let love me shares my diagnosis-- last I heard he is a CEO at a major global finance company. He would have made a great advocate. He's articulate, successful, charismatic, and super smart. Geek smart.
And just lost about seven million dollars to this financial meltdown.
Come to think of it, he is sensitive to the sun as well.
Maybe I had some frightening injuries as a result of my bout with cancer rays along with some rather severe cycling, but, as I said, I'm healing.
He is in denial, and just got fried.

Sorry you sold out, brother.
I will continue to hope for your redemption.

And I still have your Dorian Gray.

(Lincoln allegedly had dermatological issues.)

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